As you age, you may find things are a bit different in the bedroom. Enjoying sex after 60 can open up new avenues of intimacy and pleasure for you and your partner if you keep an open mind, accept who you are and look for different ways to capitalize on the experience and love you share. Here are some tips for making the most of sex after 60:
Accept who you are. Your body isn’t the same at 60 as it was at 40 or 20. Comparing sexual performance and body image to your earlier years is really a fool’s game. The key is accepting the here and now. It’s totally bogus to think you’ll look or feel the same sexually as you did in your past. Of course you’ve got a few aches and pains!
So focus on the great news: you’re still having sex after 60. Yes, it may be different, but sexuality is still part of the essence of who you are, and it’s a healthy, satisfying part of your relationship.
Time is of the essence. The reality is, enjoying sex might take more time. But does that really matter? Taking more time to reach a mutual stage of arousal means deeper intimacy and connection. A man’s erection may take longer to achieve and it may ebb and flow during your encounter and invite you to use more direct penile stimulation.
Similarly, a woman may have less natural vaginal lubrication and thinner vaginal walls. So it might take more stimulation to reach an agreeable stage of arousal, but you can compensate with lubricants, sex toys like vibrators, loving language and explore more erotic, playful scenarios.
Use it or lose it. You’ve likely heard it many times, but regular sexual contact (some studies say once a week is a good benchmark for sex after 60) will help you gain comfort and acceptance of your body image, reduce anxiety about sex and create a positive attitude of looking forward to sexual encounters, rather than feeling intimidated.
Think quality, not quantity. And if you both feel it could help, talk to a medical professional about products that can help with erections or estrogen levels for women. Just remember such products shouldn’t be the be all and end all; they’re just another tool you can integrate into your sexual life.
Pleasure comes in many forms. Orgasm does not have to be the only acceptable outcome. As you age, the pleasure engendered by your physical intimacy and the connection between you is very much something to celebrate.
Use language, touch and playfulness. Be flexible about the goals of your intimate encounters. Recognize that with sex after 60, men and women may be more equal in their ability to respond sexually and in fact women may find it easier to achieve sexual response. For many people, this could be a role reversal and is something to explore and enjoy.
To have satisfying sex as you age, be realistic, accept who you are and celebrate the unique form of intimacy you can explore together.
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