Thinking About Popular Sexual Fantasies? You’re Not Alone – And You’re Sexually Healthy

popular sexual fantasies

Group sex. Bondage. Same-sex intimacy. Sex with a celebrity. If any of these popular sexual fantasies appears in your mental sex space, you’re not alone. Sexual fantasies are normal, healthy and meet many needs. At times, you’ll use your fantasies to get aroused for sex with a partner or for masturbation. They’re also an outlet for blowing off life steam.

We’ve all heard the popular sexual fantasies of powerful men who like to be dominated by their women. Turns out it’s very sexually satisfying and liberating to turn control over to someone else when you’re used to being in command. Additionally, your sexual fantasies offer a conduit to explore parts of your personality that remain hidden from the world.

“We all have sexual fantasies…Even if those fantasies involve some pretty sick and adulterous things-things we’d never think of admitting, let alone doing-it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with us. In fact, the more fantasies we have, the healthier we are, sexually speaking.” (from Sex Secrets, Men’s Health Life Improvement Guide, 1996).

Your fantasies are yours and yours alone. You don’t have to share them if you don’t want to. But if you’re ready to bring some popular sexual fantasies into your relationship, here’s a few ways to help it happen:

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Talk first, act later. Communication is a cornerstone of good sex between you and your partner, especially if you want to open new doors by changing your sexual scenarios. Let your partner know what you’re interested in exploring before you put things in motion.

Look and listen. Watch or read materials that focus on what you want to do and gauge how your partner reacts. Is she interested? Is he turned off? The reaction will determine whether bringing your fantasy to the bedroom is a go.

Test the waters gently. Remember, you’ve probably been thinking about your ideas for a long time, but for your partner, you’re writing a new chapter in the book of you. As an example, let’s say your fantasy involves bondage. Start with looser, softer restraints like scarves or ones with an easy release. Save the harder core stuff like handcuffs for down the road when you’re both comfortable with the concept of restraint and feel completely safe with each other.

Quid pro quo. Once you’ve let your partner know what you want to do, find out what they’d like to do. The answer might surprise you!

Two-way street. Forcing your fantasies on a disinterested partner won’t work. At best, your partner will think you’re weird. At worst you might cause pain or fear. So make sure you’re both in agreement before facing your fantasies together.

Decompress. Once you’ve turned some popular sexual fantasies into reality, do a reality check. How erotic were your experiences? Did you both get off on what you did? Do you want to do it again? If you do, what added elements can you bring to your personal bordello?

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Actualizing your fantasies takes communication, trust and exploration. Your imagination can be one of the best sex tools you’ll ever use!

Visit these pages for more information:

How Tantra Positions Can Create Deeper Intimacy With Your Partner

Conquering Your Fear Of Intimacy

Sex Drive In Relationships - Getting In Sync Can Steer You In The Right Direction

Couples Talking About Sex Know It’s A Key To Improving Intimacy

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